Goal

The goal of this exercise is to increase gratitude by focusing on good things that happen each day.

Instructions

Your task is to take some regular time each day to think of three things you are thankful for. These can be big things, such as good health, supportive relationships, and career successes, or little things such as a perfect cup of coffee or hearing your favourite song on the radio. Write down three things at the end of each day for a week, and aim to write new items each time. The aim is for you to take the time to be thankful for aspects of your life that may go unnoticed. Here is an example:

MONDAY

Today, I am/was grateful for:

• A surprise phone call from Maria - she is such a treasured friend.
• That strategic meeting at work was a success - I received some great feedback on my project.
• The smell of cut grass after mowing the lawn.

Once you are noticing more of what and to whom you are grateful, take this further by cultivating your relationships. For example, take time out of your day to say thanks to the person who may often be unappreciated, yet you have noted that you are thankful to. Go out of your way to thank a friend, partner, family member, or work colleague for things or behaviours that have become routine and expected if these are in your daily list of 'three good things'. Be specific when thanking people, so instead of saying "thanks", clearly outline how the person has helped you. For example, "thank you for helping me out by picking up my children from school. You really made my busy day easier and I am really grateful".

Background

This exercise is also known as 'count your blessings', and the science indicates that it is possible to become more grateful (i.e., it is a character trait that can be strengthened), and that gratitude is strongly associated with higher wellbeing. When people are asked to list things they are grateful for on a daily basis, they list things and activities such as:

• Fresh strawberries
• Going to the beach
• Watching live sport
• Singing in the shower
• Clean sheets
• Receiving a letter in the mail
• The smell of fresh baked bread
• Looking at old pictures
• A brand-new pair of socks
• A big mug of hot cocoa
• Campfires
• Sitting in the sunshine
• Laying in a hammock
• Having a good laugh with friends
• Finding a $5 note in an old jeans pocket
• Waking up before your alarm goes off
• Having a warm bath
• Sitting in front of a wood fire on a cold day
• A good book
• When someone laughs at your jokes
• A whole day with nothing to do
• Spending time in nature
• Backyard sport
• Watching kids play
• Sleeping in
• Bush walking
• Music
• A cup of tea

Advice

A good time to complete this exercise is during commercials when watching evening TV or evening reading, or just before going to bed. Implementing a reminder strategy, such as setting a regular evening alarm or leaving a journal next to your bed, will aid in remembering to complete this activity. In addition, think about whether this activity will benefit you by completing it every day, or once a week, on an ongoing basis and find a schedule that suits you.

Suggested Readings

• Emmons, R. (2007). Thanks! How the new science of gratitude can make you happier. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Goal

The goal is to increase relationship bonds and improve the quality of your relationships through communication.

Instructions

Task 1 – Consider your relationships.

Think about these questions:

• What "positive relationships" do you currently have and with whom?
• What do you need to do to care for these relationships on an ongoing basis?
• Who are the "positive energisers" in your life and how do they have that effect on you?
• Which relationships in your life do you need to consciously work on to improve?
• What small actions can improve your relationships?

Task 2 – Use Active Constructive Responding.

Use the Active Constructive Responding technique wherever appropriate over the coming weeks. An active constructive response is essentially responding to other's good news with enthusiasm, energy, and engagement. There are four ways of responding, and Active Constructive Responding has been shown to build relationships best:

• An Active Constructive Response involves expressing enthusiastic positive support.
• An Active Destructive Response involves expressing a derogatory or critical response.
• A Passive Constructive Response involves showing benign disinterest.
• A Passive Destructive Response involves distancing or failing to respond.

Example: Suppose that a very good friend gets a promotion at work. Potential responding could be:

• Active Constructive Response = "That is really great. I am so proud of you. I know how important that promotion was to you. We should go out and celebrate". When saying this the person is maintaining eye contact and displaying positive emotion, such as laughing or smiling.
• Active Destructive Response = "That sounds like a lot of responsibility to take on. There will probably be more stress involved in the new position and potentially longer hours at the office". When saying this the person is displaying negative emotions, such as frowning.
• Passive Constructive Response = "That's good news". The person is displaying little nonverbal communication.
• Passive Destructive Response = "What are we doing Friday night?". The person does not acknowledge the good news, is not in eye contact, and may be turning away or leaving the room.

Your task is to carefully listen to people you care about and when they report good events to you, respond actively and constructively to the good events reported.

Background

Research studies suggest that using Active Constructive Responding is a good way to convey understanding, validation and caring, and to increase the wellbeing of your existing friends, as well as to make new friends and to encourage closer, more trusting relationships with them. What this technique highlights is that giving enthusiastic and attentive feedback is very important in building positive relationships.

Advice

Humans like talking about themselves; about 40% of communication is such. A large part of this dialogue is also about good news, so make a mental note to be on the lookout for other people's good news and use their good fortune to build stronger bonds.

Suggested Readings

• Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E., & Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87, 228-245.
• Carnegie, D. (2009). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Goal

The goal of the exercise is to gain more happiness and enjoyment out of your experiences.

Instructions

This particular savouring activity is a combination of "sensory-perceptual sharpening" and "absorption". Get something small to eat, such as a grape or almond, and follow the instructions below slowly.

• Hold your almond and feel it in your hand – what does the texture feel like?
• Take a close look at it – inspect it, examine it! What does it look like? Is it symmetrical?
• Smell it. What does it smell like? Does it smell like what you expected it to smell?
• Put the almond into your mouth but do not bite or suck it – just let it rest on your tongue. Explore the almond with your tongue and teeth, noticing as much as you can.
• Bite slowly into it and focus on the taste. Swirl the contents of the almond around in your mouth.
• Slowly swallow the almond.

Now ask yourself these questions:

• Was it easy to stay focused as you tapped your senses and became absorbed in the sensory experience?
• What was it like to pay attention to each individual detail of the experience?
• Do you think this almond was more enjoyable than if you had just eaten the almond as normal?

Background

Savouring involves being "in the moment" and "taking in" all that an experience has to offer. Think of it as wringing the pleasure juice out of life by giving attention to the pleasures of the moment. People who savour more have slightly higher wellbeing because they have a higher quantity of positive emotions and experiences. There are in fact ten different types of savouring strategies - sharing with others, memory building, self-congratulation, sensory-perceptual sharpening, comparing, absorption, behavioural expression, temporal awareness, counting blessings, and kill-joy thinking – so if you benefited from this activity of "sensory-perceptual sharpening" and "absorption" we encourage you to try out some others in the book below.

Advice

Savouring can be used in a wide variety of circumstances – one can savour a sensory experience, a social experience, a feeling, or even a memory. Have a go at trying to savour different types of experiences.

Suggested Readings

• Bryant, F., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savouring: A new model of positive experience. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

Goal

The goal of the exercise is to encourage you to think more deeply about what drives your success.

Instructions

Task 1 - Understanding.

Understand the difference between fixed and growth mindsets. Mindsets are beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities, such as your intelligence, talents, or personality:

• Fixed Mindset individuals believe that their basic qualities, such as intelligence, talent and personality, are fixed traits that don't and can't change.
• Growth Mindset individuals believe that their basic qualities can be cultivated and developed across the life span through dedicated effort.

One of the keys to success isn't having greater amounts of innate intelligence, talent or ability; it's whether you look at these qualities as things that can be developed through dedication and effort.

Task 2 – Communicating Growth.

Now work at developing a growth mindset. Accept that having innate intelligence or talent is just the starting point, and that most people accomplish great things through years of passionate practice, learning and effort. Over the coming week, aim to use process-oriented praise, rather than person-oriented praise, with yourself and others:

• Process-orientated praise, such as "you put in a lot of effort" or "that was a good strategy you chose", emphasises that achievement comes from striving and the use of effective strategies. It also allows others to interpret setbacks in terms of lack of effort, or inappropriate strategies.
• Person-orientated praise, such as "you are so smart", emphasises innate talents and abilities. It assumes that success is due to personal attributes and teaches others to interpret difficulties in terms of their personal weaknesses.

Background

Most people don't have either a growth or fixed mindset, but a bit of both. The good news is that with practice it's possible to cultivate more of a growth mindset. New research on mindsets is indicating that growth mindsets in particular are related to all kinds of successful outcomes, from academic grades, to work performance.

Advice

This skill takes a lot of time to master, so persist and be patient.

Suggested Readings

• Dweck, C. (2007). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Ballantine Books.

Goal

The goal is to increase optimism in terms of expecting favourable outcomes.

Instructions

Set a timer or stopwatch for 10 minutes, in this time you are to think about your best possible future self and to write it down on paper. Imagine your life the way you always imagined it would be like, your best possible self. Picture that you have performed to the best of your abilities and you had achieved the things you wanted to in life. While writing don't worry about grammar or punctuation, just focus on writing all your thoughts and emotions in an expressive way. Describe what this future would look like for you. You may want to have several sheets of paper for this exercise.

Reflection: After completing the exercise, reflect on your feelings and your answer. Think about the following questions:

• What effects did this exercise have?
• Does this exercise effect you more emotionally or does it effect your current self-image?
• Did it motivate or inspire you?
• Does it make you want to make changes?
• How did this exercise impact you overall?

Background

The Best Possible Self exercise can increase optimism. This exercise requires people to envision themselves in an imaginary future in which everything has turned out in the most optimal way. Over the past years, writing about and imagining a best possible self has repeatedly been demonstrated to increase people's mood and wellbeing (King, 2001; Peters et al., 2010; Sheldon & Lyubomirsky, 2006). Peters et al. (2010) provided evidence that writing about and imagining a best possible self can also increase optimism in terms of expecting favourable outcomes. This effect was independent from the effect on mood that was simultaneously increased by the exercise.

Advice

While in most cases the exercise is used in a written form, it is also possible to make drawings of your best possible self. One of the most powerful ways is to visualise your best possible self on a daily basis. To most people, writing down their fears and troubles has therapeutic results, but this exercise takes a positive approach towards ones best possible self. King (2001) has conducted research on the effects of this exercise and warns that this exercise may backfire if done incorrectly. This exercise can make some people compare their current self to their ideal self and can cause feelings of disappointment due to the large gap. To avoid this negative result people should write about a realistic possible future self.

Suggested Readings

• King, A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 798-807.
• Meevissen, Y., Alberts H., & Peters, M. (2011). Become more optimistic by imagining a best possible self: Effects of a two week intervention. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 42, 371-378.

Goal

The goal of this exercise is to take control of your daily engagement by focusing specifically on your tasks with regard to how challenging they are and your skillset to accomplish them.

Instructions

Flow, also known as "being in the zone", is a mental state of operation in which the person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energised focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. Although there are many components of flow (i.e., awareness of action, goal clearness, unambiguous feedback, task focus, sense of control, loss of self-consciousness, time transformation, an autotelic experience), for this activity we would like you to focus specifically on the balance of challenge vs skill in the tasks you do.

Task 1. Look at your schedule for tomorrow (or today) and make a judgement about each task with regard to how likely this task will enable a flow state.

• If the challenge of the task is high, and your skill to take on the challenge low, this may result in anxiety.
• If the challenge of the task is low, and your skill to take on the challenge high, this may result in boredom.

However when the challenge meets your skill, you are more likely to get into the optimal state of flow. In other words, the task must contain enough challenge to stimulate you, but not so much as to create anxiety. Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the researcher behind this topic, used a figure similar to the following in his original 1990 book (reference below) to describe this 'flow channel':

Csíkszentmihályi suggested that these intrinsically rewarding flow states result in intense engagement with daily activities.

Task 2. Now look at your planned activities over the coming week and think:

• When you are most likely to be in flow?
• Are there any activities you do regularly that you can adjust the challenge of (either up or down) to meet your skill level?
• Are there any activities you can specifically aim to increase your skill level for?

Background

The founder of flow, Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, commented that:

"The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something we make happen."

One pathway to making more optimal experience happen is adjusting the challenge and skill of tasks. This activity is likely to lead to more focus on the task at hand, being in the present moment more, and is associated with positive experience and performance outcomes.

Advice

Although this activity seems on the face of it easy, it is in fact a very challenging task. Do not try to accomplish too much too quickly. Even if you can just adjust one task this is still moving in the right direction of optimal experience…

Suggested Readings

• Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Collins.
• Nakamura, J., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2009). Flow theory and research. In C. R. Snyder & S. Lopez (Eds.), The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology, pp. 195-206. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Goal

The goal of this exercise is to increase gratitude by means of a writing exercise.

Instructions

Gratitude is a feeling of being thankful for the people and things in your life. The expression of gratitude brings positive emotions to those receiving and giving thanks. Yet we do not always express our gratitude to the people in our lives. Now here is your opportunity.

Choose someone in your life that has been helpful and kind to you, yet you haven't had an opportunity to express your gratitude. This person can be a family member (parents, grandparents, children, spouse, etc), a friend, a teacher or coach – anyone that has made a positive impact on your life but has never (or rarely) heard you express your gratitude. Take a moment to think about the things that this person has done that makes you extremely grateful.

In this exercise you are to write a letter of gratitude to this person. Take 10-20 minutes to write this letter expressing your gratitude for what this person has contributed to your life. Use the following points as a guide to help you:

• Address the letter specifically to the person ("Dear...").
• Do not worry about grammar and spelling.
• Directly address the person throughout the letter.
• Describe specific things that this person has done that made you grateful and how this person's behaviour has effected your life.
• End the letter by identifying that is from you. (Sincerely..., or Love..., etc.)
• If possible, deliver the letter personally and ask the person to read the letter in your presence.

Background

Expressing gratitude to others can have a significant impact on wellbeing. Previous research has tested the impact of a gratitude letter; a letter in which gratitude is expressed to another person. In a study by Lyubomirsky, Dickerhoof, Boehm, and Sheldon (2011) it was found that compared to their non-motivated counterparts, motivated participants reported improved overall wellbeing and fewer depressive symptoms at the end of the intervention. In addition, motivated participants also showed improved wellbeing at the 6-month follow-up and reductions in depressive symptoms at the 9- month follow-up (see also Seligman et al., 2005). Note that no improvements in wellbeing occurred unless they were self-motivated to engage in the activity.

Advice

The current exercise can be done just once, but can also be done on a regular basis. Some studies have asked participants, in addition to write and reflect on the letter, also to deliver it and read it in person. Although this can be a valuable addition, it may not be an option for all people. For instance, a person may find it too confronting to deliver and read the letter. This may reduce motivation. Given the previously established finding that improvements in wellbeing were only established in motivated participants, it is important to take this preference into consideration when doing this exercise.

Suggested Readings

• Emmons, R. (2007). Thanks! How the new science of gratitude can make you happier. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
• Lyubomirsky, S., Dickerhoof, R., Boehm, J.K., Sheldon, K.M. (2011). Becoming happier takes both a will and a proper way: An experimental longitudinal intervention to boost well-being. Emotion, 11, 391-402.
• Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60, 410–421.
• Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9,111–131.

Goal

The goal of the exercise is to increase your decision making skills which in turn impact your wellbeing.

Instructions

Chances are, in relation to decision making, that you have never heard of the terms 'maximising' and 'satisficing'. These are two very different strategies to choose an option from a set of possible alternatives. Individuals who maximise consider all possibilities comprehensively and strive to select the best option. These individuals search out information to ensure they are exposed to the best alternative. On the other hand, individuals who satisfice seek an alternative that exceeds some criterion of acceptability. Once they identify an acceptable option, they discontinue their search and choose that option. These individuals do not pursue the goal to optimise every decision.

• So which are you? Do you think you are a maximiser or satisficer?

Your answer is probably that you're slightly more one than the other, however use both approaches on occasions. This is good as it highlights that the context, and its importance, can affect whether or not you tend to maximise or satisfice.

To enhance wellbeing, individuals should, on some occasions, decide not to consider all of the options and alternatives an instead take a satisficing approach. For example, at a restaurant, they should disregard one section of the menu. This approach is especially important if their decision is unlikely to affect their life significantly in the future. Over the coming week when you are making decisions, ask yourself if it is a satisficing decision? In other words, will the first object or option that meets your criteria do? Or is this an important decision that requires a maximising approach? Maximisers typically get better results, but it's also more time consuming and mentally taxing, and maximisers are more likely to experience buyer's remorse and be less happy with their decisions. Thus maximising is not a good approach for all decisions. Over the coming week when you are making decisions, ask yourself if a maximising decision is needed?

Background

Having too many choices can be a bad thing, as the plethora of options available to the average person can actually be detrimental to their psychological wellbeing in many circumstances. As a general rule, the greater the number of options and choices we have, the less satisfaction we will derive from our decisions.

Advice

Because maximising is so mentally taxing and time-consuming, it often leads to less satisfying decisions. When making decisions, as a rule of thumb, try the following (identify and substitute the dollar amounts to those that fit your budget):

• If something is under $30 and isn't vitally important, force yourself to satisfice and choose the first acceptable solution instead of the optimal solution. Example: If you are out to dinner, pick the first item that looks good and then close the menu.
• If something is under $200, look for three comparable items that meet your baseline needs, and then choose the one that is the best.
• If something is over $200, take a maximising approach and write down what you should be optimising for.

Such a process will help to save mental fatigue and time, and increase wellbeing.

Suggested Readings

• Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York, NY: Ecco/Harper Collins.